True confession of an autism mom:

Between his oral defensiveness and severe anxiety, I couldn’t figure out how to make it work before then.  The only reason I made that appointment was my concern over an adult tooth that erupted at an unusual angle with the baby tooth still on top of it.

The Screamer

My son was the kid who screamed uncontrollably every time he entered anything that looked like a doctor’s office.  My son was the kid who wouldn’t let me look inside his mouth when he was teething or when he had injuries.  I used to seize the opportunity to try to get a brief glimpse at his teeth whenever he was laughing at a joke or in the middle of a tantrum.  Brushing his teeth was challenging at best, and there was no way he would rinse and spit.

Eventually my husband and I were able to reduce our son’s oral sensitivity enough so that we could take care of his teeth, and we approached his anxiety from several angles to make that first visit to the dentist a success.

Here’s how we managed our son’s dental hygiene:

Establish a daily ritual

1. Be Creative

The National Institutes of Health have a guide for caregivers emphasizing the importance of creativity and a daily oral hygiene routine – and those were the keys to my family’s success.  Finger toothbrushes for infants only encouraged my son to bite my finger.  Instead, I offered him a clean, wet washcloth to chew on for a few minutes in the morning and before bedtime.  I helped him move the washcloth around his mouth so that all of his teeth were scrubbed.  Then I offered water to drink, since he didn’t know how to rinse and spit yet.

2. Brush Together

The next step was to allow my son to chew on a child-size toothbrush while I brushed my own teeth.  This desensitized him to the toothbrush’s texture while I modeled appropriate dental hygiene for him.  Sometimes it’s necessary to try several different types of brushes, such as a spin brush.  After many months, when he was accustomed to the texture, I added non-fluoride toddler toothpaste to his toothbrush so that he would get used to the idea of flavoring on the brush.

3. Don’t Miss A Day

It was important to continue with the brushing ritual every morning and evening – if I accidentally skipped one morning, my son would be uncooperative the next time I tried to clean his teeth!

4. Slow Transitions Are Better

A few years later, my son was allowing me to brush his teeth and he had finally learned to rinse and spit.  Then we switched him to Kids’ Crest fluoridated toothpaste, because the flavor is milder than adult toothpaste.

Know the causes of tooth decay

In recent years, medical studies have documented a clear connection between oral health and overall physical health.  Tooth decay is now considered a preventable infectious disease.  The bacteria that cause tooth decay are typically transferred from one person’s saliva to another person’s mouth.  Sugary foods feed the bacteria and promote decay.

Many children with special needs continue to bottle-feed until they are 4 or 5 years old because of delays in oral-motor skills, which is another risk factor for tooth decay.

5. Prevent Cavities

To reduce the risk of cavities, I gave my son a drink of water after his bottles and made sure his teeth were brushed immediately before bedtime.  I also gave him probiotics, the beneficial bacteria that balance out the harmful bacteria in the human body, mixed into his milk.

Find a dentist who has experience with special needs

6. Referrals From Families 

The best way to find a dentist is to ask for a referral from other families in the special needs community or from your child’s therapy team.  The Special Care Dentistry Association also provides referrals.

7. Referrals From Therapists

I asked my son’s occupational therapist for a referral to a pediatric dentist who had experience with special needs.  She recommended a dentist whose office was next door to a pediatric therapy clinic – this dentist had worked with hundreds of children with all types of special needs.  The office staff was ready for us when we arrived.

8. Accessible and Sensory Friendly

Not all dental offices are equipped for special needs – some offices do not have enough space for a wheelchair transfer, other offices may have a harsh sensory environment.  Ask the office staff about their experience with your unique needs.

Get friendly with the dentist’s office

9. Make practice visits

Consider visiting the dentist’s office several times before attempting any type of examination.  One time I had my husband bring our son in to see me get my exam and cleaning.

10 Make a Social Story

Ricki Robinson, author of Autism Solutions, suggests taking photos of the equipment, staff and waiting room – then using those photos to make a storybook about going to the dentist.

11. Prepare With Books

I got a bunch of books about the dentist from the library for my son.  The only books that interested him were those that had photos of actual dentists’ offices, not cartoons or drawings.  He liked clear, concise narratives that showed him exactly what to expect.  He also liked simple, scientific explanations about the importance of oral hygiene.

12. Divide & Conquer

Keep in mind that most dentists can bill your visit in three separate parts: cleaning, exam and x-ray.  If a child becomes anxious during the cleaning, you can reschedule the exam and x-ray for a different day.  Or you can schedule each of the three parts on different days.

13. Bring Their Favorite Toy/Blanket/Object

Ruby Gelman, DMD, advises in the book 1001 Tips for the Parents of Autistic Boys, “If your child has an object that he particularly loves (a music player or a clock, for example), bring one with you to the dental visit so that the dentist can incorporate that into the appointment.”  Familiarity with the dentist not only reduces anxiety during the visit, but it also increases compliance with dental hygiene at home.

What If Nothing Works?

On top of the increased risk for tooth decay, individuals with special needs often have damaging oral habits such as grinding teeth, picking or biting inside the mouth and tongue thrusting.  For individuals who have a high anxiety level and need long dental procedures, it may be necessary to consult with the dentist about anesthesia and restraint options.

14. Say No To The Papoose

Instead of anesthesia, some dentists still use a “papoose,” a tight swaddle that immobilizes the patient during procedures.  Many parents report that the papoose actually heightens their children’s anxiety and makes future dental appointments much more difficult.

15. Laughing Gas

A doctor may prescribe a mild sedative before the appointment so that the patient is relaxed and sleepy during the procedure, or the dentist may use nitrous oxide (laughing gas) during the procedure.

16. Anesthesia

If the individual is still distressed, then general anesthesia may be required to get the job done.  In these cases, parents usually request that all cleaning, x-rays and repair be completed while the patient is under anesthesia.

Success

The last time I took my son to the dentist, he confidently went into the exam room without me.  Afterwards he couldn’t wait to show his dad how clean and shiny his teeth were.  I could hardly believe this was the same child who used to protest so vehemently every time I tried to touch – or even just look at- his mouth.  Repetition, desensitization, persistence and familiarity helped him learn a new life skill.

Tradition = Regulation

I’ve been thinking a lot about traditions lately (both religious and otherwise); observing them, creating them and seeing them through the eyes of my kids.

It occurred to me that traditions and rituals are actually a form of regulation – daily, weekly, monthly and annual regulation.

The more we do something, the more we can predict the basic framework, and within it we are given an opportunity to learn deeper, and become more connected to the people we care about (and also to ourselves!).

For kids with diverse abilities and needs, this can be a beautiful way to spotlight growth and accomplishment.

Participating in Holiday Celebrations

I think of all the years my nephew was unable to participate in holiday celebrations because of his sensory issues and anxiety. There were years we used a glass cake saver over our seder plate so that Leo’s senses would not be assaulted. There were entire grades of school during which he would pray outside the door every morning, peering in as his classmates. It was so difficult for him. So much to manage.

But now he leads.

His voice is the loudest and his pitch perfect.

He’s passionate about the food at holiday meals – he plans it, often prepares it, and many times, he even eats it!

He dances with total abandon to holiday music.

He is freer in this framework and his personality shines through. His learning layers each year and so does his confidence.

So it’s possible, that traditions are even more important for people who struggle to find predictability in a dynamic world.

Family Rituals

Recently our parenting therapist suggested my husband and I begin some family rituals that only include the four of us. For me, it has become something I can count on and look toward to every week.

If something unexpected happens, my kids are building resilience within that ritual, and so am I.

If you are having doubts about your child’s speech and language development, wondering if your child is reaching those speech milestones on time, questions are probably swirling in your mind:
Do they have enough words in their vocabulary?
Do they understand language?
Are they attempting to interact with others enough?

Here are some of the developmental speech behaviors of young children that you should be watching for:

Child (0-12 months)

1. Responds to/turns toward a familiar voice
2. Shows recognition of name
3. Listens to words, begins responding to words
4. Entertains self by vocalizing (babbles, coos)
5. Babbles at others
6. Tries to imitate a single syllable or series of sounds
7. Exhibits expressive jargon (gives impression that vocalizations have meaning)

Child (12 months-24 months)

1. Follows simple questions or commands (Where’s the ball? Get the ball.)
2. Listens to rhymes and songs
3. Attempts to follow one-step commands
4. Identifies two pictures from name
5. Listens to simple stories with pictures
6. Speaks first words
7. Continues to jabber tunefully to self while at play
8. Echoes prominent word or last word spoken
9. Uses words instead of gestures; labels nouns and actions; has prepositions, pronouns, adverbs
10. Repeats 1-2 digits

Child (24-36 months)

1. Attends when name is called
2. Can discriminate between different noises
3. Understands 300-400 words
4. Identifies action pictures
5. Understands long and complex sentences
6. Can follow many one-step commands
7. Understands names and pictures of most common objects and verbs
8. Imitates two-word sentences with appropriate intonation
9. Has 300-word vocabulary
10. Repeats 3-4 syllable sentences
11. Talks about action in pictures
12. Begins to use past tense, plurals, and pronouns

Get Evaluated

If you suspect your child has a speech or language challenge Better Speech and Hearing Month is a great time to have your child evaluated.  Many of the private professional services, schools, and hospitals in your area will likely have special programs to celebrate the month.

Early Intervention is Huge

If you talk to any parent with a child who has special needs, almost all say, “I wish I would have gotten help earlier.”  Research has proven that intensive, early intervention can lead to the greatest benefits.

A simple screening may be the answer. The bottom line is to trust your instincts. If you have been putting it off, now is a great opportunity to have those questions answered by a professional who can offer guidance.  Remember, the sooner this is dealt with the better.

Choosing a Therapist

When deciding which facility will best meet the child’s needs, parents should consider the techniques and experience of the clinicians, and if the facility is known for a specific population.

Most providers have websites where you can learn about their philosophy, approach, area of expertise, and techniques. Look for parent feedback about the facility on blogs, chat rooms and social media such as Facebook and Twitter.

Building A Relationship

Once therapy begins, remember that it takes time to build the relationship of trust and comfort between the child and the therapist. If you feel that the personalities don’t mesh after the first few months, let the therapist know. You may prefer to choose another person within that facility.

However, if after six months the child is not making the progress you would like to see, even with you working on the goals suggested at home, you may need to consider a second opinion or new perspective.

Another approach may be helpful, or another, careful look into the underlying factors that could be contributing to your child’s challenges.

Children should look forward to therapy and want to see their therapist. You should be seeing a caring relationship develop. This does not mean the therapist will not challenge your child and make tough demands, but there should be a mixture of easy and difficult tasks occurring within each session.

Extra Curricular Activities

If your children are older and already involved in programs, you may wonder what you can do for added benefit. Why not think of an area that may need a boost, such as social skills, speech groups, intensive one-on-one therapy or an academic area that may benefit from extra focus in additional therapy.

You can encourage carryover of speech skills by having your child involved in a camp or similar program where all their receptive and expressive language skills could be used in a natural environment.

It is worth the effort and time to consider these ideas because early intervention can make a big difference. You want to establish the foundations for communications in the early years. Be sure to check out the wonderful summer programs at our center, including discounts on speech-language evaluations.  May is Better Speech and Hearing Month, so get out there and communicate!

Arthur Boorman was a disabled veteran of the Gulf War for 15 years, and was told by his doctors that he would never be able to walk on his own, ever again.

His story is proof, that we cannot place limits on what we are capable of doing, because we often do not know our own potential.

What has this video inspired you to do?

After this post was written we asked the special needs community on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn if they had any additional tips for dressing a sensory child.

Sensitive adults and parents of sensitive children responded with their experience and recommendations.  Some adults reported that their clothing sensitivities are much more manageable now than in childhood.

All of the responses shared a desire to help our children find comfortable clothing and increase their sensory tolerance.  These are their real-life solutions to clothing sensitivity.

1. Be Patient And Choose Your Battles

MB: “Sometimes it helps if people are exposed to clothing for a few weeks before they are required to wear it.  Just having it around, seeing, smelling, feeling it may all have to come before wearing it.

Sweaters are a perfect example. I can love a sweater at the store, and once I get it home and start wearing it, then it all changes and I notice all kinds of irritating things about it. I was just smitten with it at the store, but can’t wear it for real.”

Elizabeth: “Just remember to be patient with the children because it is not their fault and they can not help it.”

Kellie: “My son is 7 and doesn’t like jeans or rough-feeling clothing. Track pants, t-shirts, etc. are his favorite.  Loose, baggy shorts are his preference and getting underwear on is still tough. I have to remind him every morning or he tries to leave the house without them on.

Clothing is always an issue – and the first thing he does when he comes home from school is to take everything off! He starts in the car as soon as he’s left school, and by the time we are home (1 mile away), he’s down to just a pair of shorts, and usually they are off before he makes it to his bedroom.

Many weekends he stays naked all weekend; but that’s our compromise – clothes for school, going out and when people are in the house, and it’s OK to be naked if it’s just us.”

Denise: “My daughter is 20 now, and although she still continues to love old, soft, comfortable clothing, she has learned that those clothes aren’t always appropriate. And even though I despaired at times that she would never stop wanting to wear only sweatpants, at some point she decided jeans were much more cool, and that’s what she wears most of the time now when out in public.

My advice is let them wear what they want as long as it covers what needs to be covered and is clean! There are too many issues that you’ll need to struggle with, and this isn’t one of them!”

2. Trial And Error

Erik: “The main thing is trial and error, because one child will go totally mad for denim, cotton or synthetic fabric, the other will get a fit of silk.”

Elizabeth: “I can not wear anything that touches my neck too tightly like a crew neck t-shirt or turtleneck.”

Emily: “I was really sick of navy and black turtlenecks but that’s what he wore for a while – year round. Maybe you can move into a few different colors to mix it up.”

Dawn: “My friend’s daughter wears spandex leggings and tops under her clothes. I like to wear socks that cover the ankle because I can’t stand feeling my shoe laces touching them. When buying t-shirts for my son I make sure there is no embroidery that can be uncomfortable on the underside. Here are a few articles that address sensory dressing issues along with some strategies.”

Tania: “Try clothing made from bamboo – it’s very soft. Also avoid clothes with small neck holes.”

3. Stock UpDavid: “Foam ear plugs. Won’t leave the house for a movie or concert without ‘em!”

Becky: “I might suggest that once you find the clothing item that is comfortable you buy them in 1/2 sizes to last a couple of years.  I did this with a preferred pair of boots for my daughter, 4 pairs, each a half size larger.  This boot limited the arguing for 2 years!”

Collette: “To this day, my son (23) will not wear long-sleeved anything except for a coat, and we live in northern Wisconsin.  I suggest tagless everything. We cut tags and tags, and when he was young, he wore sweatpants and t-shirts everywhere.”

Debi: “FunandFunction.com has a GREAT line of sensory clothing that doesn’t just feel great but looks pretty cool, too.  ‘Hug’ t-shirts, seamless socks, tagless clothing, etc. Otherwise the main guidelines in my house are soft, soft material, sweats, NO turtlenecks, NO zippers, NO buttons, NO snaps, NO buckles… but now that he homeschools he hangs out in his boxer briefs more than anything.”

Melinda: “When I find a style he loves, I go back and purchase more in the next size up.  Meanwhile, we work on flexibility for occasions where that casual dress is not appropriate, such as weddings or funerals.”

4. Get Rid Of Lumpy Socks

Mary: “My son had a big issue with socks. I got the seamless socks from Striderite and they worked really well. They are expensive but they last!”

MB: “I will also attest to 20 years of wearing the World’s Softest Socks (that is the name of the brand!) You can find them online.  I hate summer and have a hard time transitioning out of wearing socks.”

Elizabeth: “I had to have tight straight, thin socks because if there were any bumps in the I would rip my socks off because I felt like I was crawling out of my own skin.”

Sandra: “Seamless socks: found on diabetic websites.  Tag less clothing: various clothiers. To remove tags, use a seam cutter.”

5. Laundry Detergent and Chemical Sensitivity

Emily: “Finding a good laundry detergent with no scent and non-itch inducing/nonirritating, and no fabric softener and no dryer sheets to prevent fabric pilling also helps to keep his favorite clothing feeling the same over time.”

Karen: “My husband gets a rash every time he is exposed to scented detergents, so we only use laundry detergent that is free and clear of dyes and perfumes.  No dryer sheets or fabric softeners here, and we always add an extra rinse cycle to remove excess detergent.”

Erik: “In some denim, they put this chemical stuff that makes me bleed in my kneepits and loins, so I have to be careful with tight fitting trousers.”

6. Work on the Process of Dressing

Emily: “Process can be important. While he was young we always got him dressed in the same order undies, shirt, pants, etc. in the same room like a ritual to make it a predictable and more comfortable event.”

Tory: “If your child has trouble crossing the midline, please experiment with putting on clothes starting with a favorite side of the body: right arm, head, left arm… sometimes that makes a difference in tolerance as well.”

7. Color and Shapes

Erik: “I have an allergy to V-collars because I just cannot stand the shape. But at the same time, round collars that are too tight make me heave.

As a kid, there were only 2 possible colors for my clothes: dark blue and less dark blue. At some point and to the delight of my parents, black, brown and green also got my liking. Other colors I just flatly refused to wear.

Only when I reached the age of about 21, I started to get over that – I got overworked in a depression, and then I somehow got it into my consciousness that colors could be used actively, also in clothes. And when I realised that, to the complete disbelief and shock of my parents, the first thing I bought was this big fire truck red ski-coat.

And after that, I also started to wear yellow shoes, red trousers, pale or fiery green, blue, yellow and red sweaters, because I sensed those colors helped me to get over my depression. By the way, this was in the ’80′s when such colors were all the rage in street fashion…I still start to wear such bright colors if I feel I go downhill. Normally I wear dark colors, but the obsessive choice is removed from it.”

Emily: “Smooth, soft, and gray pretty much describes his wardrobe. Jeans and tees, gray hoodie – year round.”

8. Emotion and Texture

Erik: “I seem to be an exception in that I absolutely love the feeling of sheep’s wool on my bare skin. Silk and satin and very soft synthetic fabrics to me are overwhelmingly, addictingly attractive in their softness and movement.

If I wear clothes of that kind of fabric (running gear, sports clothes are made of very soft synthetic fabric) I have to be very careful not to ‘freeze’ and get lost in myself, in my experience, into just sensing that cloth on my skin. As a kid, my parents have ‘lost’ me that way on several different occasions.”

Elizabeth: “I still have sensory issues as an adult although very minor now, but it started early in my life. I hated wearing jeans because of the roughness against my legs and the seams (never would wear them).

I had to mostly wear 100% soft cotton and preferred to wear dresses so it wasn’t so clingy to me. Same thing goes for tags in shirts, I would have my mom cut them out or break the stitching in the shirts to totally remove them.

I still have some of these issues as an adult. I would say to try the seamless socks, soft cotton tagless shirts, and soft comfortable elastic waste shorts etc. I don’t know how old your child is but I would experiment letting them help you to get them dressed and feel like they are more in control of what is happening.

This may help to feel more secure and they can take their time. I know it can be a really icky feeling when something doesn’t feel right on your skin/body. I still hate walking barefoot because if one little spec of sand is on my foot it drives me absolutely mad.”

9. Heavy, Warm Fabrics And Clothing

MB: “Fleece has been my saving grace.  Fleece sheets are the answer to my prayers.  Long underwear is good to provide a bit of pressure and consistency if it is nice and cold out.“

Erik: “From early on and to this day, I have several issues with clothing. Heavy clothing gives me a feeling of security, of protection. So I tend to wear ever more heavy clothing at times when I feel insecure in life or when my senses stand to ‘open.’ Heavy denim trousers or even leather trousers, heavy army boots, heavy leather coat, heavy and rough feeling woolen pullover, cap or bonnet- that kind of clothing.

Clothes that are inevitable to feel on my skin and body will put a sensory-preoccupying layer between me and the rest the world. I need that to keep focused, to prevent being overwhelmed by other incoming information, just like people use personal music (mp3-player and such) to have a protective cocoon. Or just like a mobile weighted blanket such as you use at night in bed.”

Karen:  ”My son does not like the feeling of air on his arms or legs.  He prefers long sleeves and long pants year round, and he prefers sweaters or heavy fabrics.  At home he likes to wrap himself in a thick fleece blanket, even in summer.  Being covered gives him a feeling of security.”

10. Be Wary Of Seams

Tory: “I prefer pull-on clothing, all with what they call french finish on the seams so they don’t stick out.  Or undershirt on inside out to protect the skin from a shirt that may have irritating seams. I was irritated by and allergic to so many things as a kid.  I have gotten so much better. Your child will, too.”

Emily: “Dressing my baby son was not generally easy, as he would pull his clothes off as quickly as I could get them on. He could not stand anything on his feet and was very sensitive to clothing (and the world at large).

Almost everything he wore when he was little was knit, soft, or was peculiarly outrageous but appealed to him in some way. Clothing worn inside out helped as it kept seams away from his skin (socks, undies/boxers, tees, pjs, sweats, sweatshirts, etc).  He is a teen now and he still prefers to wear the seams outward or find clothes constructed with an inside out look.”

Melinda: “My child lives in the C9 line of clothing by Champion at Target. They have minimal seams.”

Erik: “Sharp or prickly seams can drive me over the edge so that right then and there I can ruin a new garment just to get it out.”

11. A Sense Of Control

Erin: “Our biggest one was to let him pick out his own clothes and what he wanted to wear (we had issues with seams and tags, plus he prefers certain types of clothes over others).  SO if he wants to wear docker type pants instead of jeans so be it.  Tagless shirts and underwear are a godsend. I was always pulling tags out of my own shirts.

But I think really the biggest thing as a part we can do is not fight the sensory stuff. I have a kid that would wear his hood up on his winter jacket even indoors, wouldn’t get his hair or face wet, couldn’t get his hair cut, etc., and when we turned it over to him and gave him as much control over it as possible, things got better on his time, not ours.”

Lucy: “When he was younger, our son preferred sweat pants with very soft fleece on the inside and seamless socks.  So sweat pants and tube socks it was!”

Kellie: “He hates tags on his clothes – we have to cut them all off! We have lots, and lots and lots of clothes, so he can choose himself, what he’d like to wear. We’ve learnt that this is the easiest way with him. Not cost effective – but it makes him feel in control. Mostly, we let him pick out his own clothes to buy too – so he can feel them first and decide if he likes them.

But while he likes his comfortable, loose clothing, he also loves getting ‘dressed up nice’ – as he terms it. Any special occasion, he comes down stairs wearing his dress pants, a long sleeve shirt, vest and tie!”

Share your great tips for dressing a sensory sensitive child in the comments below.

Parents can help their child with special needs succeed by helping their special teachers breath!

Here’s How:

Stay involved

1. Volunteer in School

Know what is happening at school and be an active participant in your child’s education. If you have the time and ability to volunteer hours in your child’s classroom or on field trips – that is always helpful.

2. Help With Supplies

For those parents who are working or who have other commitments during the school day, there are other ways to stay involved as well. You could ask your child’s teacher if there are any classroom supplies needed that you could donate to the room.

3. Volunteer after School

Another great way to stay involved is by attending after-school and evening activities with your child. These events are always a great way to build socialization skills for your child and often many are curriculum-based.

Be Consistent

It is important to be consistent as a parent for your child to feel comfortable and safe. Children crave routine so please make it a point to keep some sort of nightly and weekend schedule.

4. Stick To A Routine

If your child knows that every day when they come home they can take a half hour break, have a snack, do their homework, watch a show, have dinner, read, brush their teeth, and then go to bed – they will be prepared and understand the expectations.

5. Use The Same System For School And Home

If your child uses visuals to communicate, make sure those visuals are the same at school as they are at home.

I have had parents approach me wanting to set up a reward system at home if their child does well at school. I encourage this as long as the parent is certain they can enforce it. If the child had a great day – take them to the park, buy them that ice cream, or get them that lego set you promised as a reward.

Homework

For some children, it is not enough to create a designated homework time and set up a nice area for them to complete their work (although, I strongly encourage that both of these things are done!).

6. Be Present During Homework Time

Please try and set aside time to be present while your child is doing their homework so you are available should they have any questions.

7. Address Homework Complaints To The Teacher Not The Child

If your child’s teacher has assigned the homework, trust that it is for the benefit of the child. If your child is taught that homework is important from an early age, it will not be as difficult for you to get them to do their work at a later age. If you really believe the homework being given is too difficult or too demanding for your child, talk with their teacher and special educator. It is possible that some accommodations could be made based on your child’s ability level.

Be Supportive

Be supportive of your child’s teacher and your child. Appreciate that a teacher’s role is to help your child reach their fullest potential. They are an advocate for your child!

8. Support Your Child’s Teacher

If there is a problem, try to refrain from becoming judgmental or critical. Set up a meeting with the teacher and listen to the explanation with an open-mind. If the teacher is doing what is best for your child, they should be able to explain their actions in a way that makes sense to you.

9. Support Your Child

As a parent, it is also critical you are supportive of your child. This may mean supporting them while they explore a path you wouldn’t have led them on. Your child’s choices may not have been the ones you would have chose for them but see it as a sign that you are raising an independent individual and be proud.

Be supportive and encouraging even when your child’s progress is slow and accomplishments are few and far between. Your child needs to know your unconditional love in order to be successful.

Make Learning Fun

Your child’s teacher is not their only educator. A parent is a child’s first teacher in life so seize the opportunity! Make learning fun by making it hands-on.

10. Create A Fun Learning Environment

As the parent, you have the opportunity to teach your child in ways their teacher can’t. Go on field trips to the park to learn about nature, create a cooking show to improve on fractions, write thank-you notes to practice handwriting, volunteer to teach the importance of compassion, play word games to help with decoding skills in reading, involve your child in housework to introduce life skills, and allow them to help you balance the checkbook for math fluency.

Use every moment as a learning opportunity and be your child’s cheerleader by encouraging their natural curiosity and talents.

What tips would you had to help special education teachers?

Is therapy grouped with primary care or as a specialty?

Some insurance plans treat these therapeutic services the same as a regular trip to a primary care physician, which often means the co-pay (the amount a person must pay out of pocket for the service) is around 20% of the total charge for the visit or a set dollar amount.

On the other hand, some insurance plans treat these therapists as specialists like cardiologists or neurologists, which often requires a higher percentage or higher dollar co-pay.  This means that families pay a greater percentage of the overall cost of the therapy session.  Because many of these therapies need frequent visits, this can put a high cost on families.  In some instances, the family may be forced to forgo treatment altogether or reduce the number of therapy sessions.

For Example:

To illustrate, say your insurance plan has a co-pay of $25 for primary care physician visits and $50 for specialist visits.  Your child receives weekly occupational therapy sessions, which cost $55.For a plan that treats occupational therapists the same as primary care physicians, your out-of-pocket cost for one month of treatment is approximately $100 and the insurance plan pays $120-a little over half the cost of the therapy sessions.

However, for a plan that treats occupational therapists as specialists, the out-of-pocket cost for one month of treatment is approximately $200 and the insurance plan pays $20-a little less than 10% of the cost of the therapy session leaving the family to shoulder the remaining 90%.

Capping out-of-pocket costs for therapies

Recently, states have recognized the unfair co-pays for these therapies by introducing legislation to cap out-of-pocket expenses for these services.  Currently two states, Kentucky and South Dakota, have laws limiting an insurance plan’s ability to charge unfair co-pays for occupational and physical therapies and many more states have introduced bills looking to do the same.

Unfortunately, what is also apparent is the general lack of inclusion for speech therapy – currently mentioned in only two states’ proposed legislation – Missouri and West Virginia.  This means that as currently passed and drafted these laws would not cover speech therapy services and insurers could still treat those providers as “specialists” and charge a higher co-pay. What is noticeable about this trend in legislation is the unanimous inclusion of physical therapy.  Indeed, the American Physical Therapy Association has been active in getting this legislation introduced.

What this means for you…

Check your policy

First thing’s first, know how your plan is administered.  Many large companies have a self-funded insurance plan where the company essentially serves as its own health insurance provider.  If this is the case, state laws may not impact these plans.  It is important to look at your policy or contact your human resources contact to see what type of plan you have.

Your policy will tell you how your plan treats therapy sessions and what co-pay is required.  Compare the cost to the cost you pay for regular primary care physician visits.  If your insurance policy treats therapy providers as “specialists” and charges an increased co-pay for those services, there are several things you can do:

1. Contact your representative

• In states where the laws are currently enacted – Kentucky and South Dakota – speech therapy is not included.  You can encourage your representative to introduce an amendment that would add speech and language pathologists and speech therapists to the law.
• In states where legislation is pending, you can contact your representative and encourage him or her to pass the bill.  For bills that do not include speech therapy on the list of affected services, you can also ask your representative to consider adding those providers to the proposed legislation.
• In states with no pending legislation, contact your representative and let him or her know how important this issue is to you and other similarly situated families.

2.  Talk to your child’s therapist

Let your child’s therapist know that this is an issue important to you.  Let them know what it costs for your child to attend his or her sessions and what other states are doing to help curb those costs for families.  Therapists would benefit as more families would be able to afford the frequent visits.  Encourage your therapist to bring the issue up to his or her colleagues or professional organizations.

Professional groups can be instrumental in lobbying for legislative change.  For example, the American Physical Therapy Association in conjunction with the local state chapter in Kentucky pushed hard to get that law passed.  Other professional organizations have dedicated staff to help specifically with legislative efforts.

3. Contact your state’s insurance regulation agency.

Every state is required to have an agency in charge of insurance regulation.  The state’s insurance regulator may have the power to create regulations that would have a similar effect as legislation discussed above.

A few months ago we shared Liliya’s Story with you.

In short, Liliya Bromberg is a 21 year old girl with Cerebral Palsy. Liliya lives in a small one-bedroom apartment with her parents.

As any young woman would want, Liliya desperately needs friends and independence.

Providing Friendships

For years Friendship Circle had been providing friends for individuals with special needs. Friendship Circle matches over 400 teens with children and young adults who have special needs. Together they participate in various programs and home visits. The volunteers provide social interactions, friendships and much much more.

Friendship Circle has been providing Liliya with friends for over 10 years. Every day, one or two girls visit and spend one or two hours together. Some volunteers go bowling with her, others go out for pizza, play games or just talk about life.

Providing Independence

Recently the Brombergs received the devastating news that Liliya had been diagnosed with hepatocellular carcinoma. Liliya was now dealing with two huge challenges in her life. More than ever she needed her own space and independence.

At this point Bassie Shemtov Friendship Circle’s director rallied the troops and started working on a plan… To provide Liliya with her own studio apartment. Watch the video below to see the amazing and emotional end result.

The Big Reveal In Pictures

You can read the full article at WXYZ Action News

A special thank you to all who participated in making this special project happen!

• Sheldon Yellen/ Belfor USA
• Mike Barnett of Belfor USA
• Shari Stein of Partners in Design Inc.
• Harold Remlinger of Remlinger Architekts
• Matt Lester of Princeton Management
• Ashley Oleshansky of Princeton Management
• Channel  7 WXYZ-TV
• LaFontaine Automotive Group
• Believe In Miracles
• American Interiors, Wixom, Michigan
• California Closets, Michigan
• Ciot Tile and Granite
• Home Depot, Farmington Hills
• Gabriella Burman Kaplan
• Huntington Technology, Inc.
• Ledbetter Design
• Millennium Cabinetry, Farmington, Michigan
• Modern Millwork
• SCI Flooring
• Shaw Industries
• Wilsonart
• Dan & Jennifer Gilbert
• Marcia Stein, Artist from Santa Cruz, California
• Ken Goss of Specialties Showroom
• Diversified Restaurant Holdings
• Neil and Stacey Weissman
• Gorman’s Furniture
• Mitchell & Michelle Bleznak
• Harold & Penny Blumentstein
• Avi & Beth Brandvain
• Easton & Linday Kay Brodsky
• Judge Avern & Lois Cohn
• Mushky Duchman
• Matthew & Maggie Egrin
• Alon & Shari Kaufman
• Lisa Fenkell
• Jeffrey & Laurie Fischgrund
• Samuel & Mindy Herman
• Jeffrey & Marjorie Loeb
• M. Jacob & Sons
• Kurt McNeil
• Mildred Moss
• Bill & Natalie Newman
• David W Potts
• Ron & Nancy REchter
• Richard Ruby
• M.J. & Annette Sack
• Patrick & Kathryn Tooman
• And all those who participated in Hoops4Liliya

As you saw in the video Lee has Cerebral Palsy and uses a communication device to present to the crowd. Most of Lee’s routine focuses on his disability. He makes numerous jokes about his disability and the crowd has a good time laughing.

Of course if someone else were to crack the same jokes they would be in big trouble. Lee feels that while making jokes about himself and his disability it helps to give the audience a better understanding of people with disabilities.

What do you think?
Will Lee’s performance give license for others to make similar jokes about people with disabilities or does it give viewers an appreciation and/or understanding of individuals with special needs? Tell us your opinion in the comments below.

When traveling with a child who has special needs every step you take needs to be very carefully planned.

In previous posts of the Special Needs Travel Series we focused on planning your trip, finding a special needs travel agency, and packing for the plane.

In this post we give you five steps to get through the airport as fast and efficiently as possible.

Step One: Airport Parking

All parking lots have parking spaces reserved for individuals with disabilities. However if you do not have a Disabled Person Parking Tags or License Plates you are not allowed to park in these spots. Some airports provide free or discounted parking for cars with a disabled persons placard or license plate.

A few select airports offer special parking accommodations to any traveler with special needs regardless if they have a special license plate.  Among the airports offering special parking options are Atlanta Hartsfield – Jackson International Airport and Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport.

Check your airport’s website for information about parking for individuals with special needs. Alternatively consider getting a ride to the airport and skip the parking hassle.

Step Two: Drop Your Bags

To save time you should check in and select your seats before heading to the airport, however you will still need to check your bags.

Skip the long lines and check your bags curbside, Skycap will take your bags for your and print out your boarding pass. This will lighten your load and let you focus on your child.

Step Three: Security

Going through security can be the most challenging part of the airport experience. Long lines, sensory overload and the need to take of shoes and other items can make this segment very stressful. Here are some tips that can help:

Prepare your child
Prepare your child as much as possible with whatever means possible. Social Stories, visuals, and practice will help your child know what to expect.

Special lines
All airports now have a special line that families can use. Use this line to avoid a longer wait and reduce the risk of a meltdown. If there is no such line or the line is too long explain your situation to a TSA officer and they should be able to accommodate your needs.

Know Your Rights
The Transportation Security Administration has a comprehensive section about children with special needs. Before you head to the airport make sure to read it. The site covers everything from security procedures for children with special needs, to medical equipment, medications and more.

Step Four: Walking to the gate

A few tips when heading to the gate:

Make a Pit Stop

This may be a good time to make a bathroom stop. Most airports will have a family bathroom in the main terminal area. Once you head to your gate it may not be so easy to find a family bathroom.

Light Displays

Some airports require you to go through an underground tunnel to get to your gate. Many of these tunnels feature a light and sound display. This may prove difficult for children with sensory issues. Some airports (DTW is one), have a button that you can press to turn of the display for a period of five minutes. If your local airport does not have that option, it may be a good idea to prepare your child and bring noise cancelling earphones.

Shuttle Carts

Some airports can be miles long. To make your walk to the gate easier you can ask for special assistance for a ride to your gate. Some airports have golf cart-like vehicles that can shuttle you quickly to your gate. If your airport does not offer such a service a wheelchair will be offered instead. You can ask for this assistance when checking in or look for a airport information desk and ask for assistance there.

Step Five: Extra Time

If you have extra time before your flight here are some useful tips.

Airport Play Areas

These days almost all airports have play areas. Some areas are small enclosed areas with toddler toys while others are large elaborate production that can keep your child busy for hours. Check your airports website to see where it is located in the terminal and if it is worth stopping by.

Airline Lounges

Airport Lounges used to be available only to frequent travelers and big important business people.  Times have changed and lounges are more accessible now.  Lounges usually provide comfortable seating areas, televisions, free snacks and a quiet relaxing atmosphere.

All airlines offer day passes to their lounge for about $50 (each airline has individual policies about how many children you can bring in with you at no extra charge). So if your flight is delayed or canceled an airline lounge may be a good option.

Go for a walk

You will be spending a bunch of hours cramped in an airplane. Go for a walk around the airport and explore all the new sounds and sights.

Find an empty gate

Look for an empty gate with no other passengers. This will give you a chance to relax a little while giving your child some extra space to move around and be themselves. Park on the floor play a game and enjoy!

Bonus: Disability Pages for the Worlds Biggest Airports

Below you can find over 60 airport web pages for special assistance and accessibility information for travelers with disabilities.

Domestic Airports

International Airports